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Why oh Why are Some Women Such Bitches? July 17, 2008

Filed under: HSP/HSC,social interaction — Thinking Woman @ 6:02 pm

The title about says it all. Some women, by no means all, but some, can be so horribly toxic. The problem is that most women, but again, not all, will follow along with that and not speak up. That leaves a few standing alone. That’s where I am now. Too exhausted to even try.

Me, I’m Highly Sensitive. So I choose not to go along with Mean Girls crap. I am not saying I never did. As someone who grew up ostracized (as most Highly Sensitive Children do), I was constantly the victim of Mean Girls and bullies. So when an opportunity presented itself to be on the other side of that equation, it was compelling. But afterward, it feels so awful and sickening. I just couldn’t live with myself if I continued to behave in that fashion.

That is the piece I don’t get. I would bet that most people have been on the receiving end at some point. Well, girls, especially as we can so deftly slice with our words. So knowing how it feels to go through, how can women continue to disect each other?

I’d always thought this was something that stopped at adulthood. But it’s not so! I am seasoned at being an adult now and this shit has never stopped. One of the reasons becoming a stay at home mom was so painful for me is that I was thrust into a strange and evil world of women. So few are comfortable in their skins; most are doing the cagey dance.

I have recently realized, finally, how I play into this. I am different around men; more confident and self-assured. I don’t come away drained. So, it must follow that I am being generally false around women. That must be where the bitches realize my vulnerability and sink their teeth into my weakness.

I guess this means that I have to pretend they are men. Or children. Or something. I’m not sure, really. I’ll be meditating on this and looking for insight.

 

19 Responses to “Why oh Why are Some Women Such Bitches?”

  1. Worn Out Says:

    Ditto. Highly sensitive equals victim. I’m in my late forties and am still trying to figure out how to deal with women – they are so shifty, and I can’t play their games.
    My bad experiences have mostly been with the sort of woman who is the centre of the universe, and my mistake seems to be in trying to get them to see my point of view – which I am NEVER able to achieve. I am completely unskilled in persuasive technique, but chock full of a frustrated sense of right!
    I notice they don’t think much you if you’re “bright” either – “Large Hadron Collider”, paleontology, the human brain – not good topics to mention in front of the majority of women… (you can tell I’m not good at small-talk).
    Oh – I could go on and on, but I’m sooooo tired of them! They are really WEIRD!

  2. meme Says:

    I honestly am so tired of trying to befriend women I could puke. I have tirelessly searched for new women friends so that I’d have someone to coffee with or to chat with or what have you. And the only conclusion I can come it is if your fairly pretty, semi smart and have a anything going on in your life that they may have any chance of being jealous of they will rip you to shreds.

    I’ve had women talk in groups about me at business functions. I’ve had women threaten me in a bars because the men seem friendly to me. I’ve had girlfriends dump me. I’ve had my own mother betray me to the lowest level possible.

    And the worst thing is… I’m to the point where I think men aren’t much better. Used to be I liked men.. cause they were the only ones who were nice to me. But lately I am realizing they are nice for one reason only. Men are one track minded.

    So the conclusion is… sometimes being alone and finding something else to occupy your spare time with is the best option. Now if it just weren’t quite so lonely being alone all the time i’d be able to convince myself of that.

    • Thinking Woman Says:

      Hey, Meme,
      I wanted to reply to you because you sound like I did when I wrote that post. I don’t know if you are in a mood to hear it, but I really recommend Law of Attraction (LOA) work. Use language that focuses on what you want and expect out of life as though these things are already yours. Don’t lie, but find something, anything positive that feels true and talk about it, even if you are just talking to yourself. When negative, more negativity is attracted. It just works like that. Grasp at what positivity you can find, focus on it, grow it. Since I wrote that post, I have worked very, very hard to reclaim my joy. I have been changed as a person, perhaps forever, not sure for better or worse, but I am now joyful again and can be around people, especially women, with constant debilitating bitterness bubbling up all the time. Getting here took months, much internal work, some various healing sessions, and strong intention!

    • Almamater Says:

      I think you are my soulmate on this. I have experienced this kind of junk from girlfriends, my sisters, and yes, sadly, my own mother betrayed me as welln not once but several times.

      I am naive and did not realize for the longest time that it must be jealousy that drives it. As you said, anything at all to be jealous of will incur the cruelty of other women.

      I guess it’s good for me to know you also have experienced this and the loneliness that goes with it. I also have kind of just turned to my own interests and trying to keep life interesting w/o the input of women friends. I have tried everything I know of to be a friend and find a friend but to no avail.

  3. YAA Adding this to my bookmarks. Thank You

  4. dean Says:

    WOMEN SUCK THEIR ONLY GOAL IN LIFE IS THEIR OWN HAPPIENESS, WHETHER IT IS SEX MONEY OR CONTROL. FUCK THEM AND TREAT THEM LIKE THE WHORES THEY REALLY ARE.

  5. Jay Says:

    Woman really don’t have their head on straight. They are either obnoxiously retarded or obnoxiously bitchy; but mostly both.

  6. Thinking Woman Says:

    This has always been my most-viewed post. I just reread it. I was too raw from what I had gone through until just now to even have a look. The responses had me thinking I’d written something other than what I did write. But no, I wrote that some, but by no means all women are bitches. I hold by that now. It makes me sad that so many think it’s all women. That just isn’t the case and I never thought it was. I had gotten to a point where my trust was so low, I could not let anyone in. And I’ve built a higher, thicker wall with a series of systems that make it complicated to enter. But some still get in! And many more would if they’d find it worth the effort! Most women are kind and wonderful creatures, just like me and you! And those that are being bitches? Well, they need love more than anyone! What is their deal? What happened to them? Perhaps it’s not my job to help them, especially if I don’t have the energy after their lashing. Perhaps just to protect myself and my sweet family. But it is not cool to generalize their bitchiness to all women! We humans are a wonderful race and there is beauty in everyone, just find it, help let it shine out by showing that part of your soul! And by knowing when to cut your losses and keep yourself safe. I was in a situation where I was not given that chance. I have healed, finally! Forgive others, forgive yourself, and move on!

    • Fred Says:

      Interesting discussion. It sounds like the OP was in a bad situation or keeping bad company for whatever reason ie; work, friends etc. Now you are out of that situation and those nasty women, life seems worth living! End of. Some women ARE bitches, they may need love, or they may just need a slap! (jokin..about the slap)

  7. Rob Says:

    Lol! Know you know how men feel.

  8. rich Says:

    1 out of 20 women are hot. The other 19 think that high heels and implants should do the trick.

  9. cobelloy Says:

    Have also had same experience all my life, every girl friend I have ever had has stabbed me in the back, and the male friends I had as a younger woman are also gone due to the women in their lives. Now I’m in in my thirties, we moved to a new area about a year and a half ago and the mum’s at my daughters new school are super cliquey, making it impossible for me to support the friendships she is making. And the mum of her best friend from her last school has completely cut me out of her life despite me having taken her daughter with us on many fun family outings, including one only a few months ago. So now not only do I have no friends in my life, but my ostracised state is splashing on to my daughter.

    What is it – why are they like that?? I’m not not overly pretty, smart, successful or even happy – there is nothing for anyone to be jealous of in my life – so WHY!!! What is wrong with you nasty spiteful women that you need to treat good kind warm, loving people like me and my daughter with such disregard and disrespect??

    • Thinking Woman Says:

      It could be a bit of you get what you put out. I was in a debilitating depression when I wrote this and guess what? My unhappy face made others react to me in a negative way. I’m not saying some women aren’t still biyatches, but now I am feeling better and can put on a fake act long enough to get through interactions with them. They’re still toxic people and I’ll never be one for group situations but in any group, there are some kind, genuine real people and it’s worth the effort to find them and push for frienships. You can’t pick your friends based upon your kids’s friends, that’s for sure, but you can do drop off swaps if the other mom’s a biyatch and the kids are cool by you. Online friends can help fill in the gap for the parenting decades.

  10. mattjfox Says:

    I think that Thinking Woman started out trying to say something about an experience with a certain type of woman and a bunch of misogynistic weirdos dropped in on her rant, because she is sweet and caring and doesn’t understand the the harsh weirdness that a certain type of woman seems to perpetuate without a second thought.

    It seems that media in general puts this type in the spotlight more than most others.. its a shame, because a virtuous woman is a blessing on the world.

  11. Oh So Very True Says:

    gee wiz, this is certainly the reason why us good straight guys can’t meet a good straight woman anymore, and there are just too many low life loser women that are now LESBIANS AND WHORES which is really adding to our problem. then again, GOD is to blame for creating these PIGS today.

  12. Thinking Woman Says:

    Wow, I was in a bad place when I posted this blog. I rarely get in here to approve the comments but I see some possible spammers I just approved so don’t bother, I’m watching out for that crap. I just wanted to say this was a low point in my life, perhaps the lowest. I am doing much better, thank goodness. I never thought so many would stumble across this blog post and comment. I wonder how many actually read it. I hope it inspires people to be their best.


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