EFT – Emofree Technique July 23, 2008

Life has been throwing such challenges at me lately. Big stupid stuff. Stuff where I stand alone standing up to a bully or where someone singles us out like the idiot that reported our sweet family to CPS when we first moved into town – a report that was tossed out right away but still shook us deeply. It’s all exhausting.

The last few blows have piled up on me and I have gotten so, so very down.

All signs have been pointing to EFT. I tried it about 6 years ago but it was so complicated and felt so foolish that we didn’t stick with it. You have to go through this whole series of tapping different points on your body. Since then, the tapping has gotten simpler and there are even short cuts where you can just tap or rub one point or just your fingers, but the feeling of foolishness hasn’t dimished for me.

Nevertheless, I had to try something and seeing as my mom had paid for some sessions, I figured I’d give it a shot. I can’t say it’s not working. I can’t say it’s solving everything over night but I do see changes. Stuff that just seems too coincidental. I was stuck on laundry issues and yesterday we worked on that (and many other things) and today, I worked on laundry on and off for hours.

My attitude about the gym has gotten even better. I still feel very down but I do like the workouts and am pretty consistent about going; as much as I ever was. I’d like to be going 6 days a week but I probaby go 4-5 times and hey, that’s pretty damned good for anyone. I am finally starting to see some slight slimming after 2 months of working out. I’d love it to go more quickly but it’s going.

I had hoped that exercising would improve my mood.

It has not.

I know I need to socialize. But I can’t. I am stinky company. I am so low, I am dragging. So I can’t even manage to smile most of the time. I am not sure how to get out of this! I know being around people would energize me but it can also be so draining. I never got to make many friends when we landed in this town. I suppose I could rejoin the mom’s group and see if I could find some friends. I don’t have anything against them. I just don’t want to do group things. Ever. Again.

Fleas – How to treat naturally July 19, 2008

A long time ago, when I was a different person and I had different cats, I dealt with fleas for the first time. In those days, while the idea of using toxic chemicals bothered me, I felt that there was a need for them. So I used toxic shampoos that caused my poor sweet furry friends to foam at the mouth and seriously scary bombs that spread poison into every nook and cranny of my house.

Did this work? Well, yes, and no. At first, there were no fleas. But then, suddenly, they were all back and with a vengeance. Super fleas! It was impossible to set foot indoors at all. And so began a cycle of frequent vet visits that were traumatic for my cats and more toxic bombing. The whole summer went on like this until we gave up and moved.

So when we noticed the cats scratching this year, I immediately called the non-toxic bug service. I was shocked and horrified when I found out that they were not going to help. I was told to not even bother with natural methods because they just don’t work. I was advised to go straight to the vet to get prescription drugs as they are the only thing that does actually work. Time would show every single vet in town taking advantage of this years flea epidemic as they all have huge signs out regarding the flea situation and recommending drugs for the poor innocent cats and dogs and other innocent furry friends.

I admit in a moment of weakness and flashback to my previous experience, I did consider taking that route. Luckily, fate and logic intervened (it was after hours) and so my resesarch began. I found great articles right away on the Only Natural Pet Store website and I did buy a few products from them. They highly recommend diatomeceous earth, and they have a form that is much safer than what you’d find in any garden supply store. This I sprinkled lightly on my cats and generously on my flooring. I swept it into the carpets so it would suffocate tiny fleas. I also combed my cats with a flea comb and dropped the fleas I found directly into the toilet, and flushed.

My older daughter in particular eventually developed a serious rash from the bites, which she must love picking. She is now wearing cotton knee length socks all the time, even while she is sleeping, and putting Rescue Remedy cream on the bites at least twice a day. The rash looks much better, especially below the sock line!

We all try to remember to put strong smelling essential oils on our feet and calves when the fleas are biting – peppermint and tea tree oil are my favorites. I’ve tried putting this on the cats but they really hate it. Besides, it is not the cats that host the fleas most of the time; my understanding is the fleas live most of the time in other places. There, they relax and lay eggs. Sometimes when we comb the cats, we find almost no fleas, or one cat seems free and clear and the other not. Apparently, the cats visit a “flea bus stop” and get loaded up again. Where that bus stop is in our house, we are not sure!

Every few days, we vacuum all the carpets and then put the vacuum cleaner bag in a plastic bag and put that in the freezer. That way, any newly hatched fleas will die.

Two ideas I have yet to implement are to use beneficial nemetodes outside and also spread diatameceous earth all over the yard. The nematodes will eat harmful insects. It is important to buy ones that are for your area. A research university might be the first place to go for information on which ones you’d need. I have noticed the squirrels stopping to scratch so I know I need to do this. Even though our cats are indoors only, the fleas are probably jumping in the door or catching a ride on a human bus or maybe they come in on other things? I am not sure how that works. But I am sure the squirrels and other creatures would appreciate a break from the itchies.

Here is an interesting tidbit. We have been dealing with this for at least two months. So has everyone else in town. When I talk to other families, at least the ones who are honest, I learn that the mainstream drugs are not working any better than what we are doing! I know from my research how horrible these chemicals are for the pets (and people too) and how they beat down the immune system, thereby excaserbating the problem as fleas like a weakened host. That makes it easier for them to penetrate the skin and get their meal of fresh blood.

Our experience this year is nothing compared to what I dealt with years ago. Yes, the fleas are annoying, particularly to the poor cats. But they have never reached epidemic numbers. It is sort of like when the first mosquitos start biting but you’re still having a great time and stay outside for another hour. Still, the battle has never consistently swung in our favor. About two weeks ago, I read the label of a pest control product I had kicking around and saw it was for fleas so I sprayed it all over the carpets and it does seem to have helped a lot! It is Orange Guard and the key ingredient is d-Limonene (orange peel extract) so that seems okay. I bought it from a reputable source.

I hope to have great news to post soon on this situation, but for now, we are resigned to just fight the good and slow fight and not add to our bodies unavoidable toxic chemical load.

What a Shame that We Damage our HSPs so much July 17, 2008

I learned, albeit indirectly, about being an HSP from my mom. My first daughter was about three years old and life with her had turned completely unbearable. She’d always overwhelmed me, but I’d been able to do exhausting tricks to keep her happy for a few years. By shortly after her third birthday, life was deplorable. She was, in a nutshell, insane, and my husband and I were living on the edge.

Before that, my little extrovert and I had enjoyed a full social calendar, which served the dual purposes of keeping us both sane and the house pretty clean since it was never occupied. Seemingly out of the blue, she began to refuse clothing. She had always had typical HSC issues such as tags bothering her, but this was crazy, not only because we live in a culture where nude children are not welcomed, but also because it was the middle of a frigid winter. I was going rapidly insane, being held prisoner in my own home. Some days, I would dig deep for reserves of patience and sweet talk her into a few articles of clothing, only to find that after an hour of this, she was naked again and I was still a prisoner. Pre-paid classes were missed, adding to my frustration and resentment. She’d always adored going to classes so I’d signed her up for quite a few. On more than one occasion, I had to take her to the car naked in a blanket simply to get a necessary errand done. My husband witnessed this every weekend but during the week, he could not seem to grasp why I could not manage to get a check deposited or some groceries bought.

On weekends, I would go to every bookstore and library I could find and dig through all the parenting books, trying to find something that resonated. It was during one of these outings that my mother handed me “The Highly Sensitive Child” by Elaine Aron. It was spot on!

Reading this book was very painful because it brought up unresolved issues from my childhood. I went ahead and bought adult book, but seeing as I was in a full-blown parenting crisis, I did not have time to get too deeply into my own baggage. When I first started reading, I was a total sponge, trying to figure out who around me was and wasn’t HS. I was so excited about my discovery, I told a friend about the book and deeply offended her. It was crazy. She thought I was insulting her and attempting to publicly humiliate her. Nothing could have been farther from the truth but she got very hostile and treated me like a stalker so I had to give up trying to explain that being HS wasn’t a bad thing and knowledge was power.

The same is true for my mother. My mother, all her siblings, and their mother too are all HS. But they grew up in a time where this was like saying you had a deformity. Perhaps that is still the case. None of them will admit they are sensitive and when they take the test, sometimes they manage to twist the numbers and get a low score. No matter; they are all off the charts. They all require handling with kid gloves and get into nasty spats with each other (and sometimes with me) that take sometimes months to heal.

How ironic that my mom could find this perfect book to help me understand my HSC daughter, but she simply cannot allow herself to believe that she might be HSP too, and further, that it might be a gift.

Why oh Why are Some Women Such Bitches?

The title about says it all. Some women, by no means all, but some, can be so horribly toxic. The problem is that most women, but again, not all, will follow along with that and not speak up. That leaves a few standing alone. That’s where I am now. Too exhausted to even try.

Me, I’m Highly Sensitive. So I choose not to go along with Mean Girls crap. I am not saying I never did. As someone who grew up ostracized (as most Highly Sensitive Children do), I was constantly the victim of Mean Girls and bullies. So when an opportunity presented itself to be on the other side of that equation, it was compelling. But afterward, it feels so awful and sickening. I just couldn’t live with myself if I continued to behave in that fashion.

That is the piece I don’t get. I would bet that most people have been on the receiving end at some point. Well, girls, especially as we can so deftly slice with our words. So knowing how it feels to go through, how can women continue to disect each other?

I’d always thought this was something that stopped at adulthood. But it’s not so! I am seasoned at being an adult now and this shit has never stopped. One of the reasons becoming a stay at home mom was so painful for me is that I was thrust into a strange and evil world of women. So few are comfortable in their skins; most are doing the cagey dance.

I have recently realized, finally, how I play into this. I am different around men; more confident and self-assured. I don’t come away drained. So, it must follow that I am being generally false around women. That must be where the bitches realize my vulnerability and sink their teeth into my weakness.

I guess this means that I have to pretend they are men. Or children. Or something. I’m not sure, really. I’ll be meditating on this and looking for insight.